Monday, June 9, 2014

Three Years and Three Months

What a fun ride it had been!! Seriously, my new life has made me forget about all the pain and the nightmarish times... when I had to crawl around my home... when I slept in my big red chair in the great room because I couldn't bear the thought of climbing the stairs... when I couldn't walk my children home from school like everyone else could... oh my gosh, how life has changed. All of that horrible stuff is a distant memory!!

It has been way too long since I have posted, I suppose I just got too busy with feeling "normal", whatever normal is. Let's just agree to agree that having an ankle replacement was one of the best decisions that I could have made in my life, outside of choosing my amazing husband and having my precious daughters. If I didn't have them, perhaps I would have chosen a different route. I don't know. But guess what, I became an ACTIVE family member again! I get to go to amusement parks and keep up, I get to shop till we drop without having to find a chair, I get to HIKE, I get to.... do everything that I couldn't do before my surgery. When I think back, it makes me really sad, how much I missed out on, because of the damn pain. You can't hide it all the time, it takes it's toll on your emotional well being. It can go away... trust me.

I have been enormously blessed to hear from ankle replacement  recipients from all over the world and I love and cherish all of your stories! The emails I have received have meant so much, albeit I'm not the best at a quick response, I care deeply about your recovery, really I do.  I always hope that you keep in touch and update me on your progress into a pain free life!! Then, there are the lifelong friends I have made... we make friends with people who can "feel" and understand us. Kay and Ingrid, you will always and forever have a special place in my heart.

So, life has been pretty incredible since the surgery. I forget that I have a fake ankle... yes, it aches once in awhile and might have an annoying random pain, but it always goes away and I always forget about the horrific pain that led me to my decision to replace my joints. I can go anywhere and do anything and NOT DREAD IT!! Ahhhhh... life is good. When I'm stopped at the supermarket crosswalk and someone is limping across... my heart breaks. That used to be me. It's not anymore, but I will go of my way to assist these people. After all we've been through, it should be our calling.

As usual, I'm rambling. I simply want all of you to know that you can get your life back, like I did. When you get your replacements, you must give it a lot of time. You must have patience, and an unusually positive attitude. If you don't have a great attitude and understanding going in, you will pick it apart and hinder your healing. You WILL have pain, you will have aches, you will wonder if they will ever go away!! Well, I'm living proof and here to tell you that the pain WILL subside. Bless you all, and as always, best wishes for pain free living!


Friday, December 7, 2012

What a difference a year and almost 9 months can make!!

Finally, an update!!  The first thing I want to say is THANK YOU to all of you wonderful people for your comments, emails, and phone calls.  The goal when I started this blog was to help at least one person, because I know how lost I was when trying to make a decision between ankle replacement and fusion.  There just wasn't enough information "out there".  I am forever searching for the silver lining, always seeking out the small blessings even when things are bad.  The silver lining and blessings have come from all of you. Thank you.

So here goes....  the doctor (my wonderful doctor) said it would take a year to experience the full benefit of my replacement. Although I was feeling terrific after a year, and life had completely turned around, I didn't feel as great as I had hoped.  There were little twinges here and there that were alarming. Please understand that it might take longer to feel "normal" than you had anticipated, but goodness, it is more than worth the wait!!  I felt fantastic after six months, spectacular after a year, and 100% "normal" whatever normal is, and over the moon, after a year and a half! 18 months was my magic number, and that could have a great deal to do with the severity of my ankle problems...perhaps many of you would be 100% normal sooner than I was.

Let's talk about today, 12/7/12...  I have been busy preparing my house for a special guest.  I tend to go crazy when a guest is coming to stay because I want everything to be perfect and pristine, like an exotic vacation (uh huh, dream on).  Everything gets done lickety split, and I am up and down the stairs in a flash!  Two years ago it would have taken hours to do what now takes minutes.  The pain is completely gone, it has simply vanished!

Yesterday I wore three inch heels, and was on top of the world! At six feet tall, well, I was towering!!  Girls, wear those heels!!  Total ankle replacement has given me my life back and that's all there is to it!

 I can recall periods in my life when I just didn't want to live with the constant  pain anymore. Every day, getting out of bed and trying to walk, going up and down the stairs...I for one, had to crawl while taking care of my children. Those were sad and dark times.  Thank God, the pain has gone away and I don't have to  feel like that ever again.  There is always hope...never EVER give up. Promise me.

Today, as I freely walk through a parking lot heading for a store, my heart breaks when I see someone limping toward the door.  Automatically, I want to assist them,  and my heart goes out, because at a time in the past, that was me.  That was me riding the mobilized cart, and I was the one who took too long to cross the street when you waved me on.... sorry, couldn't help it.  That has all changed. Now, I can run across the street,  play tag with my kids, navigate amusement parks, and malls, without feeling like I am going to die! Look for me on the skating rink, or, I'll be the one skipping with my daughter.  These are precious things that never could have happened two years ago.

If you are considering ankle replacement and you have questions please feel free to email me.  You can find my email address in my profile (I think). 

Thanks for reading!!

"JUST DO IT"  (yes, I know, that belongs to Nike)


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Best Day Ever!

I'm at about 22 weeks post op now.  I got a phone call from a good friend and she asked me to join her foursome in a golf tournament.  I had to hang up and think about it for awhile.... it's been about 8 years or so since I hit the links.  She told me I had to act fast so I asked for half an hour.   I wondered if my ankle could withstand it, would I have to leave in the middle of the tournament?  I called her back and said "I'm in" and the rest is the story of one of the best days of my life.

Not only did I play 18 holes on my new ankle, I could have played more, and I had the time of my life!  Here I am nearly two days later and I'm still elated.  I never in a million years thought that I could play 18 holes of golf without experiencing pain.  I can not put into words how wonderful it felt to be out there again, feeling normal, having fun, and being pain free. No one stared at me, I was just a regular person, not the one with the ridiculous limp. I'm floating.... still.  Can't wait to hit a bucket of balls!

So there you have it.  An ankle replacement can surely change your life.  Interestingly enough, I ran in to someone on the course who needed information about replacement surgery, for her boss, who happens to be afraid.  Y'all know that I directed her to my surgeon.  I know first hand now, that there is life after replacement!  I told my husband that I have the golf bug again and he quickly told me to get a job to support my habit!  Although he was kidding, I am going back to work (not really work) two days a week.  I'm a lunch supervisor at the elementary school that my daughter attends.  It's not much of a job, it's more fun than anything... I love being around the kids and my daughter loves having me there. It's a fun job that I can do while my husband travels, what more can I ask for?  If I feel that my ankle can withstand the hard surfaces, I might consider going to full time, like I used to be.  Or......  I might just want to ride my bike, or hike, NO hiking, garden, maybe shoot some hoops?  A little volleyball if I can? Sky is the limit now!   Heck, I'm just happy to play in the yard.  Life is so good.  Never thought it would be THIS good.... 

Wishing you ALL the life that you hope for, the life that you dream about, the one without pain....  don't be afraid to go get it!


Thursday, August 4, 2011

Ann had some great questions, here are my answers

Dear Suzanne, It has taken me several tries to finally be able to post a comment. I'm not blog savy but I do have an old injury from the '70s and now hobble around in pain unless I have a shot in my ankle or too many meds to walk a straight line. Hate the meds and prefer to take as few as possible.
I am scheduled for ankle surgery Oct. 14th and I am a nervous wreck trying to decide between ankle replacement or fusion.
How are you doing today? It's been four months. Are you driving? How long can you walk without needing a rest? I am supposed to walk 45 minutes a day for my back but cannot due to the ankle.
Are you constantly aware of the joint implant? How do you balance on uneven ground? That's one reason I don't want a fusion I have enough trouble with balance now.
Looking forward to hearing from you. You have a great blog and I love the photos. Thanks.
Ann in South Carolina

Greetings Ann and Everyone!  Ann brought up several good questions in her comment to my very first post, and rather than answer her in the comment box, I thought I'd answer here so anyone else that might have the same concerns could benefit from the answers.  So here goes....

You are a nervous wreck trying to decide between ankle replacement surgery and fusion:

You have every right to be nervous, confused, and/or unsure, and wrecked!  I was too, for a very long time.  Fusion was never an option for me though, for a couple of reasons.  I always had hopes of improving my ROM and I knew that with a fusion, it would never improve. The biggest drawback to a fusion for me, was that I knew that I would eventually end up with arthritis in the surrounding joints, and I simply wasn't willing to trade one problem for another.  If you decide to have a fusion, chances are great that you will end up experiencing arthritis pain in your toes etc, due to lack of motion.  I'm not saying that it would be a bad decision for you, because all of our circumstances vary....  I don't know enough about your situation and Lord knows, I'm not a doctor.  I'm just a happy patient!  From what I have gathered from fusion patients, the recovery is longer and more difficult, but again, that depends on circumstance and threshold for pain.

How are you doing today?

I am doing very well, far better than I ever expected.  Extremely thrilled with the outcome, pain is minimal at best.  I can honestly say that my ankle replacement has changed my life, or let me say that it has given me my life back.  One of the best decisions I have ever made.  No regrets, so far, whatsoever.  I am living a normal life.  Needless to say, that is awesome.

It's been four months, are you driving?

Ohhhhhh yes, I am.  My surgery was on March 15th, I started driving by the end of May, I believe.  I feel better driving now than I did prior to my surgery. I couldn't even stand pressing on the gas and/or the brake prior to March 15th.  I use my cruise control a lot less often now! :)

How long can you walk without needing a rest?

That's a tough question, because I've never really tested it by time.  Let me just say that I've walked the malls, carnivals, festivals, the streets, etc. without a great deal of pain.  Most recently I was in Lake of the Ozarks in an area with what seemed like a million stairs and steep inclines, hills, valleys, and more.  Does my ankle aggravate me?  Yes, however the aggravation does not hold a candle to the pain I've experienced in the past.  The pain that you are experiencing now.  My ankle aches, but I have very little swelling at this point in my recovery.  Most of the time I can walk like a normal person, I still turn my foot outward, it's a bad habit I've been trying to break.  There is still a limp, but not that noticeable....  steep inclines are my biggest problem, due to lack of dorsi flexion. I struggle on stairs as well. I believe that has more to do with my mind than my physicality.  I've walked on rocks, fields, and uneven surfaces with no great problem.  All is not perfect yet, but I'm getting there. Patience comes in to play here... my doctor recommended that I give myself a full year to recover.  I'm not even half way yet, and I couldn't be more thrilled.

I am supposed to walk 45 minutes a day for my back but cannot due to the ankle....

45 minutes a day would take some time to work up to.  That would be a lot to ask of a replacement or a fusion...  I wouldn't recommend doing that for at least a few months or more, following surgery.  Again, I'm not a doctor, but regardless of the surgery you decide to have, you must give it time to heal.  Lots of time. Personally, I think if I walked for 45 minutes straight right now, I'd be hurting.  Pain aside, I would be very worried that I might be putting too much stress on my precious implant.  I suffer from lower back pain and my family doctor prescribed Cymbalta.  It is normally prescribed for depression but is also prescibed for pain.  You might consider asking your doctor about it. It actually eliminated my back pain, but again, we're all different.  I've stopped taking it because it is so darned expensive, but really, throughout the time that I took it, my body was pain free.

Hate the meds and prefer to take as few as possible

I can tell you, without a shadow of doubt, that I have not taken one single pill other than a vitamin since March 20th, 2011.  Trust me, that is a huge deal since prior to my surgery I could not have survived the day without having taken at least six ibuprofen.  That alone, should speak volumes to you.  I have not taken anything, ANYTHING since March. I can only hope that all those years of pill popping hasn't caused too much irreversible damage.  The absence of medication is a true testament to the success of my ankle replacement surgery. 

Are you constantly aware of the joint implant?

Yes, I am constantly aware of my new implant.  But not for the reasons you might think.  I am not constantly aware of it because I feel the implant in there...  I feel like I have a regular ankle, really.  I am reminded when I beep at airports, and when I see my badges of scars.  The reason I am constantly aware of my implant is because I am extremely careful at all times of where I go, and where and how I step.  That can not be helped!  After years and years of excrutiating debilitaing pain, I do whatever it takes to protect my implant. I want to get as much life out of it as possible.  In addition, it's pretty pricey.  Certainly don't want to pay these bills again!  Yikes.  I'm up to about 65,000 and my insurance isn't so hot.  Fortunately, I have the STAR implant, so I won't have to have a total replacement down the road when it wears out.  I'll just have some parts replaced....that's a good thing!

How do you balance on uneven ground?

Carefully, that's all.  The innate fear of twisting my ankle keeps me on my toes, so to speak.  Normally I spend part of the summer in Canada with my family.  This summer, however, we collectively decided to skip it.  As beautiful as it is, and as much as we love it there,  it is loaded with dirt and rocky roads with huge pot holes, cliffs, hills, rocky beaches... it's even rocky in the water.  Thought it would be best that I remain on somewhat level ground until I am fully healed.  Instead we're stuck here in Missouri sweating out the ridiculous heat wave that never ends.  By the way Ann, and everyone, weather no longer has an effect on my ankle!  I used to be able to predict rain three days in advance, and low pressure days were a no-brainer!  Wow...those low pressure days were the most painful.  Proud to hang up my meteorologist hat, thank goodness I can no longer predict the weather.

So Ann, and everyone, I hope that I have satisfied some of your curiosity.  Ann, I am not very blog savvy either, I'm just trying to get this out there the best way I can because I remember how I felt when I had a zillion questions, but no was very frustrating.  The best advice I can offer you is...  do your research and be 100% certain that you are consulting with the best possible experienced surgeon.  I would not be where I am right now without my surgeon.  If you have trouble commenting you are more than welcome to email me, just scroll over to my profile and you will find my email there.  I've had many conversations on the phone as well, I'm happy to do that also.  Best of luck to you and I wish you all a pain free happy life!!

20 Weeks Post-Op... Woo Hoo!!


Saturday, July 16, 2011

Heel Pain Came and Went

During the week I experienced some intermittent heel pain.  It frightened me, because I was so used to feeling nothing.  It lasted about three days, and for some reason it aggravated me the most when I went up and down the stairs.  Of course I thought that my implant was loosening and that I needed to see my doctor, and just as I was ready to schedule an appointment, the heel pain went away. The pain out of nowhere is a mystery to me, and since it is gone, I will leave it at that.  Surely after such a major surgery, strange sensations will pop up, perhaps in the many months to come. 

I know I'm okay, because today I did some major shopping.  Two and a half to three hours worth of walking around on unfriendly hard surface.  I wore a "regular" pair of shoes, and my ankle did very well.  I got a cramp in one of my toes (my Skechers always seem to do that, I don't know why)  on my left foot, and had to end my spree.  At least I didn't have to end it because of my new and amazing ankle that has helped me to be "me" again.  I joke with my family, I say "oh, so you just like me 'cause I'm better, I see, I get it...."

Lately my focus has been on lightening the load, so to speak.  I must lose the weight that I gained from laying around and eating extremely well after my surgery. For the longest time I have had intentions of hitting the gym, and working it hard, like I used to.  I haven't done that yet.  I think I got used to not going to the gym and just living a lazy life. Well, I'm proud to say that the laziness has ended!  Finally, my mindframe is in check. I haven't gone to the gym yet (there's a method to my madness) because first I want to drop fifteen to twenty pounds, which I can do in about three weeks.  Don't gasp, I've done it before, the healthy way. I have been swimming though, which to me, is the perfect exercise,  2nd to rowing, in my book.  When you put your mind to it, those initial pounds are somewhat easy to lose.  Trust me, it's true.  Weight loss is mind over matter. No fads, no diets, just pure common sense.  I take the common sense approach, and with that, a couple of years ago I lost 60 lbs in 7 months.  So now I have to do it again:).

My path to weight loss has positively nothing to do with vanity, my husband loves me no matter what, as I do him.  My daughters think I am perfect the way I am.  My path to weight loss has everything to do with protecting my precious implant.  I want this implant to last as long as it possibly can, and for every pound I lose, life to the implant is added.  My goal is to cause less stress on my ankle.  When I see my doctor next December, I will be at the very least, and I mean the very least, forty pounds lighter.  I'm secretly working toward 60. We'll see......  I'll be sure to keep you posted.  I got serious five days ago and have been successful in adhering to a maximum of 1500 calories a day. When I start going to the gym again, my calorie intake will be higher. If you're working out, you must be sure to have enough calories to sustain your activity level. A friend of mine told me that when I couldn't understand why I was so tired during and after workouts, and it stuck. Anyway, I haven't weighed myself so I don't know what I've lost in the last "serious" five days.  I'll give myself another couple of weeks before I get on the scale.  Then, I'll be able to post actual weight loss. 

You see, my doctor told me I was a "big person." My heart sank, and I knew he was right. Having said that, I am six feet tall, so I am automatically big.  But a couple of years or less ago, I was probably 40-60 pounds "smaller"....  when he said yes to the ankle replacement surgery.  I do believe that my most wonderful doctor is counting on me to re-lose my weight, and I don't blame him. This is his craftsmanship on the line.'s July, I see Dr. Johnson in Decemeber.  I'm setting my sights at a fifty pound weight loss between now and then.  There you have it.  I know I've lost at least 5, just by the way I feel and the way my clothes are fitting.  45 to go.

My best to all of you, my family, friends, and Googlers, Bingers, and Yahooers....  wishing you ALL a pain free life!


Friday, July 8, 2011

16 (almost 17) Weeks Post-op

When I looked into my crystal ball prior to my ankle replacement surgery, I saw at least six months of pain, blood, sweat, and tears.  I thought that I would have many mountains to climb before I reached my "peak" so to speak.  No, I didn't intend to rhyme, but it works, at least for me. :)  What I mean is, I never thought that at nearly seventeen weeks post-op, I would be where I am today.  I never dreamed that in a million years, I could feel this good now.  It is astounding, to say the very least.

Sometimes I get sad, when I read about the trials and tribulations of those who have undergone the same surgery that I have.  I often wonder why I have been so lucky... why I have been so fortunate. I wish that they could get to tell the same story that I do. I know that when all is said and done, they are all okay, and feeling better... it's a different experience for all of us.  One thing I do know, is that I had a LOT of people praying for me....goodness sakes, my aunt is a sister and she sent her prayer request out to 350 people in her congregation!  That on top of my family and friends.  I believe in the power of prayer, more than ever now, as I have no other explanation for my success, other than of course, my most amazing surgeon, Dr. Jeffrey Johnson.  Much of my freedom from pain MUST having everything to do with his handy work, his precision.  In my mind, he is like family to me.  I will never ever forget him.  In six months, we get to meet again. Our appointments post surgery have been  lighthearted due to my outward happiness..... I often wonder if Dr. Johnson really grasps the positive impact he has had on my life.  Surely my bear hug was clue, but does he know??  Does he know that he gave me my life back?  I'll be sure to remind him in December.

Before my surgery the pain got so bad that I didn't even want to get out of bed, because I didn't want to face it for another day.  Heck, sometimes I didn't even get into my bed and slept downstairs in my chair because I didn't want to deal with the pain of going up the stairs.  I was depressed and didn't want to go anywhere or do anything.  I was consumed by guilt because I couldn't be the best mother to my children, or the best wife to my husband.  It was a downward spiral in the truest sense of the word.  My pain consumed me, and sucked away my life...literally.  I'm putting this into words because I know there is someone out there who will google this blog, read it, and find relief in knowing that they are not alone.  I felt like I was alone....until I Googled.  Thank God for Google, and Yahoo, and Bing.  Pain is horrible, but we can beat it.  Know that, believe that. 

What have I been doing since my last post...hmmmmm.  A LOT!  We have been spending many hot days at the pool and I am now able to flutter my right foot which is huge.  I wasn't able to a few weeks ago, it hurt too much, now I flutter away with my freestyle stroke and it feels perfectly fine!  The feeling is like waking up and stretching, that good ahhhhh feeling.  That's how I felt when I fluttered....I can swim!  Uh, I've been cleaning my house, going up and down the stairs no problem...but when I want help, I feign pain.  Just kidding. I can do it.  We went to a festival for the 4th of July, I walked around just fine, on very uneven terrain, for a long time. Eventually I swelled so I sat down.  I've been to the mall with my girls and have been fine, if I can mall it with my daughters I can do anything! In a nutshell, I am experiencing life as usual....which is very unusual for me.

On a scale from 1 to 10 on pain I would give myself a 0 to 1.  Occasionally at night I get what I call random nerve firings, which I attribute to nerves waking up.  I expect to feel them for a long time, as nerves are slow to heal, and many were put to sleep during surgery.  It makes me jump, but then it's gone.  Occasionally I feel some pain in my inner ankle area, but nothing to write home about.  Generally if I feel pain, it is short lived. So yes, life is good. My limp is almost gone...  I have a spring in my step. Everyday I wake up and remember that I can just stand up and walk.  Life is good.

It's always a thrill for me to see that I have readers from all over the world!  Thank you to all of you, I hope that you have learned that ankle replacement surgery is an option for you.  If you have any questions, please feel free to email me, you can find my email address in my profile. 

Thank you to the United States, Germany, Canada, United Kingdom, Singapore, South Africa, Finland, France, Australia, Sweden, Greece, Ireland, Brazil, Venezuela, Vietnam, British Virgin Islands, Russia, New Zealand, Slovenia, Poland, Latvia, Philippines, Peru, Italy, Denmark, Netherlands, India, Hong Kong, Norway, Hungary, Bulgaria, Malaysia.....  and to EVERYONE who has taken the time to listen to my story. 

Best Always,

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Get Well Gift

 One of the nicest and most valuable get well gifts that I received after my ankle replacement surgery was a housekeeping service.  My father and brother gave me this, and let me tell you, it saved my life and house.  Although my husband was capable of taking care of the housework, and everything else for that matter, he wasn't always available to run the entire show due to his extensive travel.  I was conditioned to look forward to every Tuesday when my housekeepers would come and shine everything up and make the house smell good, dust and mop,  and fold my towels as if I were on a cruise.  They really did that.  My towels were made into fans, so were my papertowels and tiolet paper.  What a nice treat that was.  WAS is the operative word.  No more housekeepers for me.  I am slowly (turtle-like) getting back into the "normal life" swing of things.  Keeping up with my daily responsiblilities has been quite the challenge. As much as I would like to think that everything is perfect, easy and fine, I am often reminded that it is not.  I am still healing, and I must respect that and be patient.  I am not invincible....yet.
Housekeeping is back on me now, the service is just not a luxury that we can afford right now.  Now that I am doing everything myself again I realize how spoiled I was! Since every step I take is slow and deliberate, what would normally take me a couple of hours to do, takes all day. I have become an expert at slow motion cleaning.  I can't finish everything in one day, because my ankle needs a rest, so I get up the next day and continue.  Housework has become a chore that never ends... not liking that.  I spend a great deal of time on my feet, probably more than I should.  Thankfully my ankle doesn't hurt,  but it does continue to swell a lot.  When it gets too big, and tight, I rest and elevate.  Eventually my daily chores will get easier. To anyone with upcoming ankle replacement surgery, I highly recommend a housekeeping service, I found it hard to live without.  Thank you Dad and Michael for your loving and oh so generous gift!  I love you!

Hoops anyone?
I rode my bike the other day, for the first time.  It felt fabulous! My daughter was thrilled to ride with me, so happy to see me back out there. "Mama?  You're riding a bike"?  We love to ride bikes together, heck, we love to do ANYTHING together. Olivia was surpised recently, when I joined her on the basketball court that my neighbors had put in in their back yard not too long ago. I headed down the steep incline on the side of my house, knowing all along that Olivia's face would light up with one of her enormous toothy smiles when she caught sight of me.  There was the smile, that I adore more than anything, and we proceeded to shoot some hoops like the best of 'em. I don't take much for granted, I'm so grateful to get to have these moments that I have dreamed about for years. 

Life continues to improve as my family and I venture out and do the things we haven't been able to do (together) for so long.  It's a beautiful thing, and I relish every moment of each new step. I am especially thrilled by the happiness I see on the faces of my children and my husband. No longer do they see me in chronic debilitating pain.  Ankle replacement surgery has done more than wonders for my life.  Everyday I get to stand up and say "heck yeah, I'm not in pain anymore!"  Geez, what more can a person in my predicament ask for?  I still walk a little "funny" do to the stiffness in my ankle.  I really try to concentrate on every step but often find myself sticking my foot out to the right.  Bad habits are hard to break, but I'm working on it, and most likely will be, for years to come.  All I know is that the horrible pain is gone...totally gone.  I never expected to feel this good, ever. 

On the yucky side, I notice that my veins are bleeding, which is totally normal after ankle replacement surgery.  I've got some very unattractive blue marks all over my foot and ankle....  dots and smudges, ugly veins, and what have you.  Not pretty, but I am assured they will go away eventually.  I hope so, because summertime is not fun when you have veins bleeding all over your feet.  Oh well,  priorities....  ugly veins, or freedom from pain....hmmmmm.  I'll take the freedom!!  Thank you very much!

Speaking of unattractiveness, my scars are not exactly attractive.  I've viewed many a picture of post ankle replacement scars, and they look beautiful.  I can not say the same for mine, and I'm not sure why.  My big scar in the front is discolored and has brown spots where the sutures were, and in general, looks unruly.  I've seen improvement in the scar on the back of my calf, but still, it is not looking that great.  I've been using cocoa butter, vitamin e, mederma, you name it.... to no avail.  I won't give up though, I never do. And again, ugly scars, or freedom from pain....hmmmm.  I choose, yes, you know.... 


Suzanne :)