Best Day Ever!

I'm at about 22 weeks post op now.  I got a phone call from a good friend and she asked me to join her foursome in a golf tournament.  I had to hang up and think about it for awhile.... it's been about 8 years or so since I hit the links.  She told me I had to act fast so I asked for half an hour.   I wondered if my ankle could withstand it, would I have to leave in the middle of the tournament?  I called her back and said "I'm in" and the rest is the story of one of the best days of my life.

Not only did I play 18 holes on my new ankle, I could have played more, and I had the time of my life!  Here I am nearly two days later and I'm still elated.  I never in a million years thought that I could play 18 holes of golf without experiencing pain.  I can not put into words how wonderful it felt to be out there again, feeling normal, having fun, and being pain free. No one stared at me, I was just a regular person, not the one with the ridiculous limp. I'm floating.... still.  Can't wait to hit a bucket of balls!

So there you have it.  An ankle replacement can surely change your life.  Interestingly enough, I ran in to someone on the course who needed information about replacement surgery, for her boss, who happens to be afraid.  Y'all know that I directed her to my surgeon.  I know first hand now, that there is life after replacement!  I told my husband that I have the golf bug again and he quickly told me to get a job to support my habit!  Although he was kidding, I am going back to work (not really work) two days a week.  I'm a lunch supervisor at the elementary school that my daughter attends.  It's not much of a job, it's more fun than anything... I love being around the kids and my daughter loves having me there. It's a fun job that I can do while my husband travels, what more can I ask for?  If I feel that my ankle can withstand the hard surfaces, I might consider going to full time, like I used to be.  Or......  I might just want to ride my bike, or hike, NO hiking, garden, maybe shoot some hoops?  A little volleyball if I can? Sky is the limit now!   Heck, I'm just happy to play in the yard.  Life is so good.  Never thought it would be THIS good.... 

Wishing you ALL the life that you hope for, the life that you dream about, the one without pain....  don't be afraid to go get it!

Best,
Suzanne

Ann had some great questions, here are my answers

Dear Suzanne, It has taken me several tries to finally be able to post a comment. I'm not blog savy but I do have an old injury from the '70s and now hobble around in pain unless I have a shot in my ankle or too many meds to walk a straight line. Hate the meds and prefer to take as few as possible.
I am scheduled for ankle surgery Oct. 14th and I am a nervous wreck trying to decide between ankle replacement or fusion.
How are you doing today? It's been four months. Are you driving? How long can you walk without needing a rest? I am supposed to walk 45 minutes a day for my back but cannot due to the ankle.
Are you constantly aware of the joint implant? How do you balance on uneven ground? That's one reason I don't want a fusion I have enough trouble with balance now.
Looking forward to hearing from you. You have a great blog and I love the photos. Thanks.
Ann in South Carolina

Greetings Ann and Everyone!  Ann brought up several good questions in her comment to my very first post, and rather than answer her in the comment box, I thought I'd answer here so anyone else that might have the same concerns could benefit from the answers.  So here goes....

You are a nervous wreck trying to decide between ankle replacement surgery and fusion:

You have every right to be nervous, confused, and/or unsure, and wrecked!  I was too, for a very long time.  Fusion was never an option for me though, for a couple of reasons.  I always had hopes of improving my ROM and I knew that with a fusion, it would never improve. The biggest drawback to a fusion for me, was that I knew that I would eventually end up with arthritis in the surrounding joints, and I simply wasn't willing to trade one problem for another.  If you decide to have a fusion, chances are great that you will end up experiencing arthritis pain in your toes etc, due to lack of motion.  I'm not saying that it would be a bad decision for you, because all of our circumstances vary....  I don't know enough about your situation and Lord knows, I'm not a doctor.  I'm just a happy patient!  From what I have gathered from fusion patients, the recovery is longer and more difficult, but again, that depends on circumstance and threshold for pain.

How are you doing today?

I am doing very well, far better than I ever expected.  Extremely thrilled with the outcome, pain is minimal at best.  I can honestly say that my ankle replacement has changed my life, or let me say that it has given me my life back.  One of the best decisions I have ever made.  No regrets, so far, whatsoever.  I am living a normal life.  Needless to say, that is awesome.

It's been four months, are you driving?

Ohhhhhh yes, I am.  My surgery was on March 15th, I started driving by the end of May, I believe.  I feel better driving now than I did prior to my surgery. I couldn't even stand pressing on the gas and/or the brake prior to March 15th.  I use my cruise control a lot less often now! :)

How long can you walk without needing a rest?

That's a tough question, because I've never really tested it by time.  Let me just say that I've walked the malls, carnivals, festivals, the streets, etc. without a great deal of pain.  Most recently I was in Lake of the Ozarks in an area with what seemed like a million stairs and steep inclines, hills, valleys, and more.  Does my ankle aggravate me?  Yes, however the aggravation does not hold a candle to the pain I've experienced in the past.  The pain that you are experiencing now.  My ankle aches, but I have very little swelling at this point in my recovery.  Most of the time I can walk like a normal person, I still turn my foot outward, it's a bad habit I've been trying to break.  There is still a limp, but not that noticeable....  steep inclines are my biggest problem, due to lack of dorsi flexion. I struggle on stairs as well. I believe that has more to do with my mind than my physicality.  I've walked on rocks, fields, and uneven surfaces with no great problem.  All is not perfect yet, but I'm getting there. Patience comes in to play here... my doctor recommended that I give myself a full year to recover.  I'm not even half way yet, and I couldn't be more thrilled.

I am supposed to walk 45 minutes a day for my back but cannot due to the ankle....

45 minutes a day would take some time to work up to.  That would be a lot to ask of a replacement or a fusion...  I wouldn't recommend doing that for at least a few months or more, following surgery.  Again, I'm not a doctor, but regardless of the surgery you decide to have, you must give it time to heal.  Lots of time. Personally, I think if I walked for 45 minutes straight right now, I'd be hurting.  Pain aside, I would be very worried that I might be putting too much stress on my precious implant.  I suffer from lower back pain and my family doctor prescribed Cymbalta.  It is normally prescribed for depression but is also prescibed for pain.  You might consider asking your doctor about it. It actually eliminated my back pain, but again, we're all different.  I've stopped taking it because it is so darned expensive, but really, throughout the time that I took it, my body was pain free.

Hate the meds and prefer to take as few as possible

I can tell you, without a shadow of doubt, that I have not taken one single pill other than a vitamin since March 20th, 2011.  Trust me, that is a huge deal since prior to my surgery I could not have survived the day without having taken at least six ibuprofen.  That alone, should speak volumes to you.  I have not taken anything, ANYTHING since March. I can only hope that all those years of pill popping hasn't caused too much irreversible damage.  The absence of medication is a true testament to the success of my ankle replacement surgery. 

Are you constantly aware of the joint implant?

Yes, I am constantly aware of my new implant.  But not for the reasons you might think.  I am not constantly aware of it because I feel the implant in there...  I feel like I have a regular ankle, really.  I am reminded when I beep at airports, and when I see my badges of honor...my scars.  The reason I am constantly aware of my implant is because I am extremely careful at all times of where I go, and where and how I step.  That can not be helped!  After years and years of excrutiating debilitaing pain, I do whatever it takes to protect my implant. I want to get as much life out of it as possible.  In addition, it's pretty pricey.  Certainly don't want to pay these bills again!  Yikes.  I'm up to about 65,000 and my insurance isn't so hot.  Fortunately, I have the STAR implant, so I won't have to have a total replacement down the road when it wears out.  I'll just have some parts replaced....that's a good thing!

How do you balance on uneven ground?

Carefully, that's all.  The innate fear of twisting my ankle keeps me on my toes, so to speak.  Normally I spend part of the summer in Canada with my family.  This summer, however, we collectively decided to skip it.  As beautiful as it is, and as much as we love it there,  it is loaded with dirt and rocky roads with huge pot holes, cliffs, hills, rocky beaches... it's even rocky in the water.  Thought it would be best that I remain on somewhat level ground until I am fully healed.  Instead we're stuck here in Missouri sweating out the ridiculous heat wave that never ends.  By the way Ann, and everyone, weather no longer has an effect on my ankle!  I used to be able to predict rain three days in advance, and low pressure days were a no-brainer!  Wow...those low pressure days were the most painful.  Proud to hang up my meteorologist hat, thank goodness I can no longer predict the weather.

So Ann, and everyone, I hope that I have satisfied some of your curiosity.  Ann, I am not very blog savvy either, I'm just trying to get this out there the best way I can because I remember how I felt when I had a zillion questions, but no answers...it was very frustrating.  The best advice I can offer you is...  do your research and be 100% certain that you are consulting with the best possible experienced surgeon.  I would not be where I am right now without my surgeon.  If you have trouble commenting you are more than welcome to email me, just scroll over to my profile and you will find my email there.  I've had many conversations on the phone as well, I'm happy to do that also.  Best of luck to you and I wish you all a pain free happy life!!

20 Weeks Post-Op... Woo Hoo!!

~Suzanne

Heel Pain Came and Went

During the week I experienced some intermittent heel pain.  It frightened me, because I was so used to feeling nothing.  It lasted about three days, and for some reason it aggravated me the most when I went up and down the stairs.  Of course I thought that my implant was loosening and that I needed to see my doctor, and just as I was ready to schedule an appointment, the heel pain went away. The pain out of nowhere is a mystery to me, and since it is gone, I will leave it at that.  Surely after such a major surgery, strange sensations will pop up, perhaps in the many months to come. 

I know I'm okay, because today I did some major shopping.  Two and a half to three hours worth of walking around on unfriendly hard surface.  I wore a "regular" pair of shoes, and my ankle did very well.  I got a cramp in one of my toes (my Skechers always seem to do that, I don't know why)  on my left foot, and had to end my spree.  At least I didn't have to end it because of my ankle.....my new and amazing ankle that has helped me to be "me" again.  I joke with my family, I say "oh, so you just like me 'cause I'm better, I see, I get it...."

Lately my focus has been on lightening the load, so to speak.  I must lose the weight that I gained from laying around and eating extremely well after my surgery. For the longest time I have had intentions of hitting the gym, and working it hard, like I used to.  I haven't done that yet.  I think I got used to not going to the gym and just living a lazy life. Well, I'm proud to say that the laziness has ended!  Finally, my mindframe is in check. I haven't gone to the gym yet (there's a method to my madness) because first I want to drop fifteen to twenty pounds, which I can do in about three weeks.  Don't gasp, I've done it before, the healthy way. I have been swimming though, which to me, is the perfect exercise,  2nd to rowing, in my book.  When you put your mind to it, those initial pounds are somewhat easy to lose.  Trust me, it's true.  Weight loss is mind over matter. No fads, no diets, just pure common sense.  I take the common sense approach, and with that, a couple of years ago I lost 60 lbs in 7 months.  So now I have to do it again:).

My path to weight loss has positively nothing to do with vanity, my husband loves me no matter what, as I do him.  My daughters think I am perfect the way I am.  My path to weight loss has everything to do with protecting my precious implant.  I want this implant to last as long as it possibly can, and for every pound I lose, life to the implant is added.  My goal is to cause less stress on my ankle.  When I see my doctor next December, I will be at the very least, and I mean the very least, forty pounds lighter.  I'm secretly working toward 60. We'll see......  I'll be sure to keep you posted.  I got serious five days ago and have been successful in adhering to a maximum of 1500 calories a day. When I start going to the gym again, my calorie intake will be higher. If you're working out, you must be sure to have enough calories to sustain your activity level. A friend of mine told me that when I couldn't understand why I was so tired during and after workouts, and it stuck. Anyway, I haven't weighed myself so I don't know what I've lost in the last "serious" five days.  I'll give myself another couple of weeks before I get on the scale.  Then, I'll be able to post actual weight loss. 

You see, my doctor told me I was a "big person." My heart sank, and I knew he was right. Having said that, I am six feet tall, so I am automatically big.  But a couple of years or less ago, I was probably 40-60 pounds "smaller"....  when he said yes to the ankle replacement surgery.  I do believe that my most wonderful doctor is counting on me to re-lose my weight, and I don't blame him. This is his craftsmanship on the line.   So....it's July, I see Dr. Johnson in Decemeber.  I'm setting my sights at a fifty pound weight loss between now and then.  There you have it.  I know I've lost at least 5, just by the way I feel and the way my clothes are fitting.  45 to go.

My best to all of you, my family, friends, and Googlers, Bingers, and Yahooers....  wishing you ALL a pain free life!

~Suzanne

16 (almost 17) Weeks Post-op

When I looked into my crystal ball prior to my ankle replacement surgery, I saw at least six months of pain, blood, sweat, and tears.  I thought that I would have many mountains to climb before I reached my "peak" so to speak.  No, I didn't intend to rhyme, but it works, at least for me. :)  What I mean is, I never thought that at nearly seventeen weeks post-op, I would be where I am today.  I never dreamed that in a million years, I could feel this good now.  It is astounding, to say the very least.

Sometimes I get sad, when I read about the trials and tribulations of those who have undergone the same surgery that I have.  I often wonder why I have been so lucky... why I have been so fortunate. I wish that they could get to tell the same story that I do. I know that when all is said and done, they are all okay, and feeling better... it's a different experience for all of us.  One thing I do know, is that I had a LOT of people praying for me....goodness sakes, my aunt is a sister and she sent her prayer request out to 350 people in her congregation!  That on top of my family and friends.  I believe in the power of prayer, more than ever now, as I have no other explanation for my success, other than of course, my most amazing surgeon, Dr. Jeffrey Johnson.  Much of my freedom from pain MUST having everything to do with his handy work, his precision.  In my mind, he is like family to me.  I will never ever forget him.  In six months, we get to meet again. Our appointments post surgery have been  lighthearted due to my outward happiness..... I often wonder if Dr. Johnson really grasps the positive impact he has had on my life.  Surely my bear hug was clue, but does he know??  Does he know that he gave me my life back?  I'll be sure to remind him in December.

Before my surgery the pain got so bad that I didn't even want to get out of bed, because I didn't want to face it for another day.  Heck, sometimes I didn't even get into my bed and slept downstairs in my chair because I didn't want to deal with the pain of going up the stairs.  I was depressed and didn't want to go anywhere or do anything.  I was consumed by guilt because I couldn't be the best mother to my children, or the best wife to my husband.  It was a downward spiral in the truest sense of the word.  My pain consumed me, and sucked away my life...literally.  I'm putting this into words because I know there is someone out there who will google this blog, read it, and find relief in knowing that they are not alone.  I felt like I was alone....until I Googled.  Thank God for Google, and Yahoo, and Bing.  Pain is horrible, but we can beat it.  Know that, believe that. 

What have I been doing since my last post...hmmmmm.  A LOT!  We have been spending many hot days at the pool and I am now able to flutter my right foot which is huge.  I wasn't able to a few weeks ago, it hurt too much, now I flutter away with my freestyle stroke and it feels perfectly fine!  The feeling is like waking up and stretching, that good ahhhhh feeling.  That's how I felt when I fluttered....I can swim!  Uh, I've been cleaning my house, going up and down the stairs no problem...but when I want help, I feign pain.  Just kidding. I can do it.  We went to a festival for the 4th of July, I walked around just fine, on very uneven terrain, for a long time. Eventually I swelled so I sat down.  I've been to the mall with my girls and have been fine, if I can mall it with my daughters I can do anything! In a nutshell, I am experiencing life as usual....which is very unusual for me.

On a scale from 1 to 10 on pain I would give myself a 0 to 1.  Occasionally at night I get what I call random nerve firings, which I attribute to nerves waking up.  I expect to feel them for a long time, as nerves are slow to heal, and many were put to sleep during surgery.  It makes me jump, but then it's gone.  Occasionally I feel some pain in my inner ankle area, but nothing to write home about.  Generally if I feel pain, it is short lived. So yes, life is good. My limp is almost gone...  I have a spring in my step. Everyday I wake up and remember that I can just stand up and walk.  Life is good.

It's always a thrill for me to see that I have readers from all over the world!  Thank you to all of you, I hope that you have learned that ankle replacement surgery is an option for you.  If you have any questions, please feel free to email me, you can find my email address in my profile. 

Thank you to the United States, Germany, Canada, United Kingdom, Singapore, South Africa, Finland, France, Australia, Sweden, Greece, Ireland, Brazil, Venezuela, Vietnam, British Virgin Islands, Russia, New Zealand, Slovenia, Poland, Latvia, Philippines, Peru, Italy, Denmark, Netherlands, India, Hong Kong, Norway, Hungary, Bulgaria, Malaysia.....  and to EVERYONE who has taken the time to listen to my story. 


Best Always,
Suzanne

The Get Well Gift

 One of the nicest and most valuable get well gifts that I received after my ankle replacement surgery was a housekeeping service.  My father and brother gave me this, and let me tell you, it saved my life and house.  Although my husband was capable of taking care of the housework, and everything else for that matter, he wasn't always available to run the entire show due to his extensive travel.  I was conditioned to look forward to every Tuesday when my housekeepers would come and shine everything up and make the house smell good, dust and mop,  and fold my towels as if I were on a cruise.  They really did that.  My towels were made into fans, so were my papertowels and tiolet paper.  What a nice treat that was.  WAS is the operative word.  No more housekeepers for me.  I am slowly (turtle-like) getting back into the "normal life" swing of things.  Keeping up with my daily responsiblilities has been quite the challenge. As much as I would like to think that everything is perfect, easy and fine, I am often reminded that it is not.  I am still healing, and I must respect that and be patient.  I am not invincible....yet.
Housekeeping is back on me now, the service is just not a luxury that we can afford right now.  Now that I am doing everything myself again I realize how spoiled I was! Since every step I take is slow and deliberate, what would normally take me a couple of hours to do, takes all day. I have become an expert at slow motion cleaning.  I can't finish everything in one day, because my ankle needs a rest, so I get up the next day and continue.  Housework has become a chore that never ends... not liking that.  I spend a great deal of time on my feet, probably more than I should.  Thankfully my ankle doesn't hurt,  but it does continue to swell a lot.  When it gets too big, and tight, I rest and elevate.  Eventually my daily chores will get easier. To anyone with upcoming ankle replacement surgery, I highly recommend a housekeeping service, I found it hard to live without.  Thank you Dad and Michael for your loving and oh so generous gift!  I love you!

Hoops anyone?

I rode my bike the other day, for the first time.  It felt fabulous! My daughter was thrilled to ride with me, so happy to see me back out there. "Mama?  You're riding a bike"?  We love to ride bikes together, heck, we love to do ANYTHING together. Olivia was surpised recently, when I joined her on the basketball court that my neighbors had put in in their back yard not too long ago. I headed down the steep incline on the side of my house, knowing all along that Olivia's face would light up with one of her enormous toothy smiles when she caught sight of me.  There was the smile, that I adore more than anything, and we proceeded to shoot some hoops like the best of 'em. I don't take much for granted, I'm so grateful to get to have these moments that I have dreamed about for years. 

Life continues to improve as my family and I venture out and do the things we haven't been able to do (together) for so long.  It's a beautiful thing, and I relish every moment of each new step. I am especially thrilled by the happiness I see on the faces of my children and my husband. No longer do they see me in chronic debilitating pain.  Ankle replacement surgery has done more than wonders for my life.  Everyday I get to stand up and say "heck yeah, I'm not in pain anymore!"  Geez, what more can a person in my predicament ask for?  I still walk a little "funny" do to the stiffness in my ankle.  I really try to concentrate on every step but often find myself sticking my foot out to the right.  Bad habits are hard to break, but I'm working on it, and most likely will be, for years to come.  All I know is that the horrible pain is gone...totally gone.  I never expected to feel this good, ever. 

On the yucky side, I notice that my veins are bleeding, which is totally normal after ankle replacement surgery.  I've got some very unattractive blue marks all over my foot and ankle....  dots and smudges, ugly veins, and what have you.  Not pretty, but I am assured they will go away eventually.  I hope so, because summertime is not fun when you have veins bleeding all over your feet.  Oh well,  priorities....  ugly veins, or freedom from pain....hmmmmm.  I'll take the freedom!!  Thank you very much!

Speaking of unattractiveness, my scars are not exactly attractive.  I've viewed many a picture of post ankle replacement scars, and they look beautiful.  I can not say the same for mine, and I'm not sure why.  My big scar in the front is discolored and has brown spots where the sutures were, and in general, looks unruly.  I've seen improvement in the scar on the back of my calf, but still, it is not looking that great.  I've been using cocoa butter, vitamin e, mederma, you name it.... to no avail.  I won't give up though, I never do. And again, ugly scars, or freedom from pain....hmmmm.  I choose, yes, you know.... 

FREEDOM!

Best,
Suzanne :)

Wizard of Oz Wheelchair Wedding Adventure

My family and I recently returned from my brother's wedding in Wichita, Kansas.  What an adventure it was, to say the very least.  Let's just say that I felt like Dorothy, in The Wizard of Oz.  One minute we were enjoying a leisurely drive on the highway amazed by the fact that all we could see was road, grass, and cows.  Zillions of cows.  No trees, just grass.  The next minute we were driving right into the mouth of a monumentous storm.  Nothing like driving into Kansas with a sky filled with funnel clouds.... after taking shelter under four underpasses, we finally made it to our destination, unscathed.  You know, all of this tornado business here in the midwest is making me miss the east coast, where I grew up.  Did I mention that we had an earthquake here in Missouri recently?  And a cicada plague? And a sweltering heat wave?  I say enough already.  Today is a beautiful day, for that, I am thankful.

Prior to leaving for our trip I spent a great deal of time preparing and running (fast walking) around the house getting everything together and packed up.  I was on my feet from 7:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. the day of, so there was quite a bit of swelling in my ankle.  I looked forward to the seven hours in the car so I could sit still.  The swelling didn't go down much, because I had a difficult time comfortably elevating in our car. By the time we made it to our hotel I couldn't wait to put my foot up and to ice my ankle.  I didn't experience a lot of pain, it just looked like my ankle was going to explode if I didn't get it up above my nose.  Remember, toes above the nose....  so after unpacking and organizing everything, I did my deal, and ahhhh it felt good.

The next morning we all went for a swim in the pool, and well, that always feels good.  I'm not able to flutter my ankle in the water yet, still hurts a bit, but it sure felt great to just move around and exercize a little.  Next stop was the hot tub.  Heavenly.  After a nice relaxing moring and afternoon, it was time to head out to the rehearsal dinner party at my brother's house.  The rehearsal dinner was an outdoor casual affair and I was dressed accordingly and was excited to be wearing "normal" shoes.  A comfortable pair of slides that offer a great deal of support yet still look fashionable (in my humble opinion).  So.... there were several podiatrists in attendance at the dinner, and I proceeded to pick thier brains about how I "looked".  All the podiatrists there were board certified foot and ankle surgeons and the unanimous consensus was that I had an amazing recovery and looked just the way I'm supposed to at 3 months post op.  It came as no surprise that I should expect swelling for a year or more.  Gold stars from all who knew what they were talking about. 

The cocktail hour before the wedding was what seemed like a mile (not really) away from the ceremony area.  I made it, but I knew I couldn't make it back.  The ground was uneven, there were hills and valleys and it hurt.  Since I was wearing "normal people" shoes, I was hurting.  My husband lovingly went to get a wheelchair for me.  After the cocktail hour my daughter pushed me to the ceremony area.  I didn't think I would need a wheelchair, sometimes I think I'm invincible, but quickly learn that I am not.

The wedding.... beautiful, I cried like a baby because my brother's vows were like nothing I have ever heard, and he very much included my mother in those vows, God rest her soul.  He said that he had wished that his mother had met his bride, that she would have instantly loved her, and she would be her daughter....all through tears.  No words can explain.  I'm so happy for my brother and my sister.

My beautiful daughter, Julia

Yep, I really danced!

One of the goals that I had for post new ankle was to dance again.  I danced!  I danced and danced and danced!  I had to keep up with my little one! Didn't move my right ankle much but I sure moved the rest of my body and it was wonderful!!  I think it's been more than ten years since I got on a dance floor, dancing was a victory!  I'm posting a picture to prove it, but I positively despise that way I look.  I've gained thirty pounds since my surgery, and I'm sad about that.  Perhaps I should turn my blog in to a weight-loss blog.  About a year and half ago I lost 60 lbs in a desperate attempt to relieve my pain. It worked, but not enough to avoid ankle relplacement surgery.  Anyhoo, to those of you struggling with weight issues, like me, it really does make a huge difference.  I have six months until I see my doctor again, between now and then I will WILL lose a minimum of forty pounds.  So continues my blog, hopefully.  The positive impact of weight loss.  I look forward to putting less strain on my precious implant.  Let me know what you think about my continuing this blog, please go ahead and comment.  Do you want me to continue with my ankle antics?  Weight loss antics?  I would be very appreciative of your input.  To those of you who have made it through the rain with me, and forged through every word, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  My only wish is that I have helped someone. 

My dancing machine, Olivia!

 Best Always,

~Suzanne

12 Weeks Post-op Already?

I can hardly believe that it's been twelve weeks since my March 15th ankle replacement surgery.  When I look back, I recall thinking that this day would never get here.  The weeks of non weight bearing felt like an eternity at the time....well, it appears that I've made it through the rain.  Today, I get to see Dr. Johnson.  It's been six weeks since my last visit with him, so I am thrilled to see him again.  I'm feeling anxious, excited, nervous, you name it.  The butterflies in my tummy are fluttering frantically, as I anxiously await the results of my x-rays today.  The uneasy feeling I have comes as no surprise to me, as the memories of some negative results many years ago weigh heavily on my mind.  Back in '95, after my second surgery to repair the first surgery that collapsed, I was told that I had a nonunion, and proceeded to go through hell and high water to fill in the gaps in my bones.  My only wish is that today, I hear the words "everything looks great."  I'm so nervous that I don't even think I can eat breakfast. 

I have some time before I get ready, so perhaps I'll share what I've been up to since my last post.  You might recall me saying that I wouldn't be walking through an amusement park anytime soon.  Well, on Saturday and Sunday, I did. We went to the carnival.  I wore my aircast for support, and more importantly, SAFETY.  Thank God I wore it, because in a sea of excited, rampaging young children, it was a necessity.  I lost count of how many times I was kicked, stepped on, bumped into, spilled on, the list goes on. Had I not worn my brace, I would have left the carnival on a stretcher!   In the end, a great time was had by all.  I did, however, end up with a heat rash on my leg, I get so cotton pickin' itchy!  It was 100 degress outside, so you can imaging how hot my leg was in the confines of my aircast.  I'll be happy when the aircast days are behind me for good, when I can be in crowds without fear. 

I suppose I should get ready for my appointment now, goodness I am nervous.  If I don't eat something I fear that my stomach rumbling will drown out the words that I am longing to hear...everything looks great Suzanne, everything looks great...couldn't look better...enjoy your new life...

shower
eat (maybe)
start car to cool it off
get daughter ready
feed the cat

off we go.....to Washington University Orthopedics.

I'm baaaaack.  After an unusually long wait, I finally got x-rays taken.  I had hoped to post images of my x-rays here, but unfortnatey they couldn't burn them to a disc, and they can't be emailed.  Instead, I came home with with good ole old fashioned giant x-rays that I get to hold up to a light.  In this day and age, I'm left shaking my head...I had really hoped for a disc.  Following x-rays, my 7 year old daughter and I were led to an examination room and almost immediately, in popped Dr. Johnson.  First things first, I stood up and gave him that big hug that he had coming his way.  After the big hug and a huge thanks, we sat down and went over everything.  Dr. Johnson asked me what my pain level was at, I said "zero."  We talked about my remarkable recovery, and he turned to the x-rays on his computer.  He said, "well this looks great!"  There they were....the words I had been hoping to hear.  As the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders, I turned to my daughter and winked at her and said,  "Mommy's all better now."  A smile leaped across her face, I just adore that big toothy grin.  That moment spoke volumes to me...Olivia has been waiting for this too.  Perhaps I can take her to the zoo now.  In the fall I'll be able to walk her to school, and very soon we will ride bikes together.  We can play in the yard now, too.  There is a long list of activities that we need to do together, we've got a lot of ground to make up.  Now back to the x-rays, before the tears start falling....  Dr. Johnson pointed eveything out to me, and explained where we didn't want to see spaces or shadows and he showed me where the bone had clearly grown and secured itself to my perfectly aligned STAR implant.  No spaces, no shadows, and the doctor said that he was extremely pleased.  He told me not to do anything crazy on my new ankle. I'll use my common sense and best judgement, so no sky diving for me :). Dr. Johnson recommended swimming exercises, riding a bike, the elliptical, and weight training.  He asked that I not use the treadmill at this time. Okay by me, I'm not a treadmiller anyway.  I actually prefer rowing over anything else, when given a choice.  There is an adult rowing team in the St. Louis area, and in the past I always wished that I could join it.  I guess that can be up for consideration now, or when I get back into shape.  Anyway, back to my doctor visit, it was all good, and I am so relieved to tell you that. My next follow up appointment is in six months.  SUCCESS!  Hallelujah!

Turns out I was able to get some (not so great) shots by placing my x-rays on white poster board.  So here it is, my new STAR ankle.  Thanks for reading, wishing you all a beautiful week! 

Best Always,

~Suzanne

Range of Motion and Sunblock Lotion

I'm making my own way now, without physical therapy.  The final numbers are in....drumroll please...
                                   4-29-11                            5-27-11
                          AROM     PROM             AROM     PROM
Plantarflexion           +18          +20                   +22          +26
Dorsiflexion               +2            +6                     +8          +12
Inversion                  +18          +20                   +18          +20
Eversion                   +16          +18                   +14          +18

All those tiny degrees of happiness!  AROM is when I'm doing it myself, PROM is with the help of my PT.  I'm especially pleased with the noted improvement in my dorsiflexion, as that is hands down, the most important motion when it comes to walking.  Not sure what happened with my eversion, I must spend more time working on that on my own.  I have continued my stretching and strenghtening exercises at home, but the best exercise for me, has been walking.  I look forward to getting back to the gym, but I must wait for my twelve week check up on the 6th, to get the green light.

I am not spending much time in my boot anymore, I've been venturing out and about without it.  However, if I go to the mall, or somewhere that will require a lot of walking,  I put it on.  I do find that if I wear my boot for a long period of time, it aggravates me and I simply can't wait to rip it off.  What used to bring me comfort and relief now irritates me.  Go figure. 

Thankfully, I continue for the most part, to enjoy freedom from pain (I still find that so hard to believe). That said, the more walking I do, I fully expect to experience twinges here and there.  The latest twinge that I am featuring is intermittent heel pain while ambulating up the stairs.  It's difficult to describe, and strangely enough, I don't feel it on every stair.  Let me see, how can I describe this feeling....  almost like a light jab in my heel with a toothpick.  That's the best I can do.  My guess is that there might be some mild nerve impingement, which in due time, will dissipate.  There are nerves that are still trying to wake up from their bad dream, in some cases it can take years for them to "wake up" and fully recover from the trauma they have experienced in a construction zone of an ankle.  So other than the mild toothpick prick, and some stiffness, I have no complaints. 



OUCH!



A couple of days ago we all headed to the pool for some fun in the sun, my youngest daughter was going to explode if she didn't get to go swimming...so swim she did, for five hours.  Normally I'm in the water with her but with it being the first day of the pool being open, the water felt like ice cubes. It felt colder than ice cubes. It was the kind of cold that can take your breath away.  So instead of jumping (carefully lowering myself) in, I lounged. I lounged, and lounged, and lounged some more.  I chatted the day away with some dear friends, all the while applying sunblock 50 to my scars.  I was so worried about my scars being in the sun.  Unfortunately, I was so focused on protecting my scars that I forgot to reapply to the rest of me.  NOT good, not good at all.  That was on Sunday, today is Tuesday (almost Wednesday, good Lord, what am I doing up) and I'm still a hurting unit.  My right calf is burned to a crisp, so much so that when I stand up it feels like a bed of needles is being pressed into me.  Little tip:  while you're tending to your scars with sunscreen, remember your other body parts.  Ouch.
You'd think that after 46 years of life on this earth and under the sun, that I could avoid a bad sunburn.  Nope. :)

Take care all, and thank you for reading.  Wishing you the best, always.

~Suzanne

 

Speaking of Hammers....

Throughout my ankle replacement recovery journey, I have had a nagging sense of foreboding. You know how when something sounds to good to be true, it usually is?  Well, I feel like my surgery and recovery has been too good to be true. So for ten weeks now, as many of you already know, I've been waiting for the hammer to drop.  Although I am normally a positive thinker, I've not been able to shake this sinking feeling, or fear that everything might collapse.  My guess is that since my ankle did collapse following one of my surgeries in the 90's, I have been frightened by the prospect of reliving that nightmare.  But you know what???

I am not going to worry anymore!  NO MORE WORRIES!  Why?  Because I've decided to accept the fact that my surgery has been a success!  I selected an excellent surgeon who did a stellar job, and I look forward to June 6th, when I can tell Dr. Jeffrey Johnson, face to face, how much he has changed my life!  He's got a great big hug coming his way.  To top it all off, my worries have melted away, because something funny happened at PT yesterday....the hammer dropped, literally.

Yep, I'm leaving my worries behind, because Nick, my PT, dropped the hammer.  He dropped it on the floor, and proceeded to teach me a new strengthening exercise!  All I could do was laugh.  Nick wondered what was so funny, so I explained my hammer dropping fears to him.  So there you have it, in my mind I have accepted this as the official hammer drop, and I have allowed my fears and apprehension to fly away into the sunset. I call my new exercise, HAMMERSIZE. 

Tomorrow is my last physical therapy appointment. I will surely miss it, but will continue to exercise at home and at the gym, to strengthen my new ankle.  Yesterday Nick measured my dorsi flexion, we saw a 2 degree improvement.  Two more tiny degrees to happiness.  It is at 12 now, and the goal is get it anywhere from 10 to 15.  Tomorrow he will measure my plantar and will write a letter, describing my progress, which I am to give my surgeon on June 6th.

Today I ventured out to the supermarket sans my boot, for the very first time.  I was very protective of my ankle, can't imagine if someone slammed into me with their shopping cart...I shudder to think.  Anyway, I walked around for about 20 or 30 minutes and gathered just a few things, and all went well.  My ankle, or the muscles surrounding it, feel a bit tired out, and I am swollen, but there is no sign of pain.  I'm not ready to walk the mall or the amusement park or anything of the sort, but that will all come in due time.  This is still a gradual process. 

I will continue this journey with high spirits, and blissfully forge ahead in anticipation of all the wonderful surpises the future holds. 

Best,

Suzanne

Walking on Sunshine

On March 15th I successfully attempted to walk  in regular shoes. That was one of the happiest days, ever. Since then, the positive change in my quality of life has been nothing short of astounding. Following I don't how many years of pain, around ten or so, I feel like a new person.  My zest for life is returning, I am beginning to feel like "me" again.  I can't tell you how that feels.  My only wish is that you experience it for yourself.  Do I feel pain when I walk? Yes. Is it bad? No. Not bad at all. No pain in the world can hold a candle to what was there prior to March 15th.  My experience with ankle replacement surgery, thus far, has left me stunned.  A good kind of stunned.

You know, I realize during this go 'round of ankle surgery that physical therapy is important.  In the past, I have not been satisfied with it in the very least, which leads me to wonder if it was the therapists and not the therapy, that I was not happy with .  I have a wonderful therapist now, that I actually look forward to going to see.  A bit of advice, even though you didn't ask for it, shop around before you settle.  You only want the best, and someone who is trained in your type of major ankle surgery, and someone who understands what you have been through and what you are facing now.  I have that in Nick, and sadly, he'll be cutting me loose in another week or so.  But you know what?  The best therapy for my new ankle implant is.....that's right, WALKING.  And that's what I'm doing.

The pain that I experience from walking comes more from the muscles surrounding the ankle rather than the implant itself.  I have a great deal of stiffness, so yes, it occassionally hurts when I'm trying to loosen things up.  I don't feel any pain at all where the implant is, instead, I feel nothing but total relief there. When I step and really think about it, that bone on bone arthristis pain....is gone.  Completely gone. Getting rid of old habits has been a challenge for me, such as trying to keep my foot sraight.  I still want to do my sidewinder walk, which guess what, isn't necessarry anymore!  Beautiful thing.  So every step I take now, is slow, well thought out, and deliberate.  The pain in my achilles has lessened greatly, and I no longer experience any discomfort in my extensor tendon, just a little numbness there, which is normal.  Can things be any better?  To those of you who have actually forged your way through my long, dull posts....I'm still waiting for that hammer to drop! That damn hammer!!  I see my surgeon on June 6th, and I am so nervous about the outcome.  Will my x-rays be good?  Will he tell me everything is healing well?  I need to hear, from the horse's mouth, that my ankle is healing properly.  I've had healing issues in the past, and quite frankly, I'm not ready to face another healing problem. I'm too over the moon with the way things are right now.  Postive thinking....

Around the house I usually walk in sneakers, or some of you may call them tennis or gym shoes.  I'm an east coaster originally, hence, they're sneakers for me. I've also walked in bare feet, which is surprisingly comfortable. Anyway, when I need to do heavy work, like housework that requires going up and down the stairs a lot, I put my aircast on.  With the aircast I can motor around like nothing ever happened!  I am able to get everything done now, the only thing that worries me is the heavy lifting.  When I go food shopping I take about thirty five trips from the car with the bags because I'm so afraid to carry too much.  Heavy lifting is a huge no no after this type of surgery.  Now if I can just lighten myself!  All of my inactivity has not played out nicely on my body, I think I've gained 20 lbs.  My gourmet cook of a husband hasn't helped in that department, but it was all served up in love.  So anyway, I'm trying to shed pounds...I need to baby my implant. My goal is to benefit from fifteen good years from my STAR.  Gym, here I come.

My daughter, a true blue Justin Bieber fan, was watching his new movie, the dvd that she had to have the very second it was released. She's 12.... need I say more? She turned up the volume during one Justin's songs that she especially likes, and started dancing.  I got up and danced with her.  The expression on her face when she saw her mother dance, was priceless. Julia's look was part embarrassment because her mom was dancing and looking silly, and part, oh my gosh, mommy you're actually dancing! Wow!  Life is beautiful.  So beautiful.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Best,
~Suzanne

Total Ankle Replacement Recovery Must-Haves

If you are preparing for surgery, you might want to consider the following items for your shopping list:

The following items are things I could NOT have lived without after the big day (just me, keep in mind we're all different).  My list is in no particular order with the exception of number one, and ten, and ten comes before one:

#1.  Knee Walker **
 Or some may call it a knee scooter, or knee roller.  This is the single most important apparatus to have if you are recovering from ankle surgery.  It alllows you to have independence. Heck, it's just fun to have anyway, even if you're fine.  Do not try to recover without this.  You will be amazed by what you can accomplish with a knee walker, especially if you have a basket on it. You can fix yourself a sandwich and a drink, stick it in your basket, and wheel back to your comfy spot.  You'll be zipping from here to there, and everywhere.  Number one on your list, for sure (except for #10).  Unless, of course, you would prefer to not do anything at all, which is perfectly understandable, and acceptable.  If you're like me, you might view your surgery recovery as a vacation. That's fine too. "What?  You expect me to pick up those dirty clothes when all I have is a new ankle and a knee walker?  What?".

**  I've heard from several people that they were not happy with theirs.  Be sure to test out the models, don't just order one online or rent one without trying it out first.  They are all different, some do the job better than others.  I loved mine, but I had always wished that it had a better turning radius.  Mine was given to me by my brother who is a podiatrist...I remain thankful for that, and he will never hear a complaint from me. Ever. 

#2. Crutches 
Need I say more?  I think not.

#3. Pillows
 Lots of pillows. Pillows for when you elevate, which is extremely often following ankle replacement surgery. "Toes above the nose!"  Some patients purchase special foam wedges, or go to Lowe's and have them cut wedges for them, which is great! Some patients go to medical supply stores for "special" pillows and wedges. That is okay too. I, however, went to a certain known superstore and purchased a bunch of two dollar pillows.  My feet were going to be on them for weeks on end, I didn't want them to be good pillows. They worked great!  To this day, I still put them on the kitchen floor so I can rest my foot on them while having dinner and/or playing cards.  You can not have enough cheap pillows.  As I write, I have my foot on a cheap pillow.  Cheap pillows rule.

#4 Heavy Duty Task Chair with Arms and Wheels
I say heavy duty, because you want one that is not going to slip out from under you when you lift yourself  up from it.  My heavy duty task chair saved my life in the bathroom.  I wheeled myself to the tub, toilet, shower,  everywhere in the bathroom. I sat in it while I put my face on, brushed my teeth, you name it. 

#5 Shower/Bath Cast Cover
This item was wonderful to have because I never had to worry about getting water on my cast when I bathed.  I suppose I could have used a regular ole garbage bag, but with that I would not have been able to submerge my leg in the tub.  The cast cover creates a seal that renders it impossible to get your cast wet.  You can even go swimmimg with it, not that the thought even crossed my mind after surgery.

#6  Cast Socks
I was given about six of these when my second cast was put on.  They are soft and open at both ends and slip over your cast.  I never slept without one on my cast because it prevented injuries to my good leg.  Casts are very abrasive and without the sock over mine, I would scrape myself on it.  It also protected our leather furniture.  If I laid on the couch without the sock, it scratched the leather.  Not good.  I also wouldn't put my shower/tub cast cover on without having the sock on first, because the cast can tear the rubber.  I still use my cast socks, under my aircast, when I'm not wearing my compression sock, which is most of the time.  They really come in handy.

#7  Baby Wipes
I spent most of the first two weeks post-op in bed, and when the thought of getting up and facing the ordeal of getting into the tub overwhelmed me, I used these to freshen up.  I often wiped my casted toes with them since I couldn't get that area wet.  When a bath or shower seems like it is out of the question, turn the baby wipes, they will suffice when necessary. 

#8 Grabber

I call it "the claw."  I could NOT have lived without this, especially with young children to pick up after.  I would scoot around on my knee walker and pick things up off the floor with this.  I think it cost about $20 at Walgreens...more than worth it, best 20 bucks I've ever spent.  I still use it often, I even used it today.  When you're learning to walk again, it's difficult to bend over sometimes.  Well, grab the claw.  After my surgery I always had it with me, next to my bed, in case I dropped the remote or something.  (God forbid I couldn't access the TV!) PRICELESS.  Very very useful, even when you're well.

#9 Books, Magazines, and a TV

How can you laze the days away without these? That is, when you're not sleeping off the pain meds.  Sometimes I would read a sentence and then be zzzzzzz.  I enjoyed watching movies the most, and was sure to include some comedies, as heavy dramas on top of heavy pain meds brought me down.  Just a thought to consider.

#10 Supportive People

The most important item on the list, no doubt.  If you are able, have a loved one to care for you.  Or, make arrangements for a caretaker, for the first two weeks, the most difficult period of the whole process.  My husband did everything for me....everything.  I could not have done this without him and as I look back today, I realize, again, how amazing he is.


Here are a couple of things that I lived without, and probably shouldn't have:

#1  Over the toilet raised commode 

Private matter, yes, but I'll share anyway.  I had the MOST difficult time getting up and down from the toilet.  I didn't think of it beforehand, but I wish that I had purchased or rented one.  It would have have negated many difficult moments. I actually ripped some of our towel bars out the wall while attempting to get up.  Not good.  Fortunately my husband has already spackled and repaired. 

#2 Walker

I was offered one in the hospital and I turned it down.  Just didn't feel comfortable with it.  Well, I can not count all the times that I said "I wish I took that damn walker!!".  Take it, it will be useful. If anything, it will help with the bathroom problems that I touched on above.  There were so many times that I had wished I had it in place of my crutches.  Crutches are just so unruly sometimes...

#3 Shower/Tub Seat

All along I had planned on having one.  I got into a groove getting into the tub, all was well, so I didn't bother.  Then when I couldn't stand taking baths anymore and all I wanted was a shower, there were times I would have died for a shower,  I regretted not having the seat available.  If I had it do all over again (which you know I hope I don't) I would make sure I had a shower seat.

Reader suggestions:

iPod!

We all learn as we go along.....

There are many things that I wish I had lived without, that I SHOULD have lived without, like chocolate, ice cream, pizza, coca cola, so on and so forth.  There is something about those pain meds that make me want to nest with a bunch of sweets!  Eat healthy, your healing bones will appreciate it.

We are having an amazingly spectacular day here in O'Fallon Missouri, I hope your day is amazing too!

Thanks for reading,
~Suzanne

Milestone!!

Yesterday was the first big social function that I attended since my March 15th surgery.  I enjoyed getting dressed up for a change and wearing at least one fancy shoe.  It felt good to be getting out there again, I was going to see lots of friends that I hadn't seen in a long time.  I arrived at the party at about 4:00, and by 5:00 I was ready to fall on my face.  I was overcome by exhaustion!  Gosh, I really need to get this body of mine back into shape!  It was a large crowd of about sixty five people, and after spending  so much quiet time at home over the last couple of months, I found it to be overwhelming.  Although I was tired after an hour, I managed to stick it out until 8:00.  I mingled, imbibed, and talked and talked and talked, spending a great deal of that four hours on my feet.  The party was still going strong, but I had to get my tired body and spinning head home.  Ahhhhh it felt good to take my cast off and put my feet up.  I was swollen, but didn't have a great deal of pain, which is a good thing.

After a good night's sleep, I got out of bed, stretched a little, and strapped on my cast.  Since I'm getting tired of that darn thing, I decided that today was the day that I was going to attempt to get my foot into a regular shoe, and if I was feeling really lucky I was going to try to walk without my cast.  I had to search for my right shoe, I only had left shoes around...  grabbed some comfy socks, and put on both shoes.  Trust me, I didn't think I was going to be able to get my shoe on, even after loosening the laces.  But I did, and it felt great.  Then I grabbed one crutch, stood up, and walked.  Then I put down the crutch and walked.  My goodness, this is a wonderful day. 

So far it doesn't hurt, it actually feels good to stretch all those muscles down there.  I am concentrating hard, on trying to keep my foot straight, and I'm walking slow and carefully.  Today I am experiencing the moment that I have been waiting for for several years.  This is the moment that I can walk without bone crunching debilitating pain, without support.  I feel like I have hit the lottery, I wish my husband was here to share this with me, but the poor dear is in Hawaii. :)  My daughters are here, and my seven year old started clapping and hugged me.  This is a milestone for her as well, because soon I will be a new and improved mom.  This whole process has been difficult on my children, they have been so patient and supportive, and today they get to witness the fruits of the labor.  My twelve year old who sleeps most of the day away came down and I told her I wanted to show her something, and  I stood up and walked for her.  She smiled from ear to ear and gave me the biggest congratulatory hug, and said "you did it"!  That's when I lost it, and the happy tears started flowing.  Yes, I did it.  My time has finally come. 

I have always loved Sundays, I love this one especially. Thank you, God. Wishing  you all a happy Sunday as well.

Best,

~Suzanne

8 Weeks Post-Op....Really?

The first six weeks following my ankle replacement surgery seemed like an eternity. Usually at my age, time always flies by as fast as it possibly can, and much faster than I want,  and I try so hard to slow it down, yet never succeed.  Time doesn't fly when you're chained down with a non weight bearing cast...the days go by so very slowwwwwly.  Perhaps not for everyone, but for fidgety, busy people like myself, time stands still.  Not a good situation for the impatient.  Suddenly, here I am at 8 weeks post-op, and I find myself wondering where all the time went!  Go figure. 

Since my last post I have experienced some very high highs, and some fairly low lows.  One of the very high highs is that I've been walking.  Exhiliaration times ten times ten times a million!  I was so excited to be on my feet and feelin' alright, that I spent more time than I should have, on my feet, without assistance.  So I learned, the hard way, not to over do it.  All along I promised myself that I would not over do....  perhaps I'm just not capable of taking things slow. Hence, there were lows.  That said, the pain and/or discomfort that I have experienced has been welcomed, in comparison to what I felt prior to my ankle replacement.  I truly believe that I will never feel that bad again!  Now that I am walking in my boot, my achilles is acting up. Can you blame it? It was lengthened and stretched to oblivion to help my future range of motion. The back of my calf is letting me know that it hasn't been used in awhile, and by the way, my right calf is teeny tiny compared to my left one, talk about atrophy.  Also, I feel an annoying burning pain on the inside of my ankle.  This is all normal, and it doesn't hold a candle to what I am capable of enduring.  Anyone out there going through the bone crunching pain knows exactly what I mean.  So in a nutshell, the good and bad of it is....  it's all good.

Today was my best day ever when it comes to walking.... properly.  I continue to have difficulty keeping my foot straight.  The words of my husband resonate in my mind, "straighten your foot...straighten your foot..straighten your....".  My foot is so used to being straight out to the side, and even in this big cast of a boot, I'm unable to conquer my bad habit of sidewinding!  Must continue to work on that, it's mind over matter.  I will win, no matter what.  I'm driving now, and all of my neighbors have been warned.  They all steer clear when I'm pulling out of the driveway!  I'm doing JUST fine with my driving...just don't cross my path.

Today I went shopping for dresses for myself and my daughters.  My brother is getting married in June, and I plan to look like nothing ever happened to me.  I want to wear a beautiful dress and "normal" shoes.  Perhaps I won't be dancing, but at least I can try to look good while sitting there in my fancy seat!  Anyway, I borrowed the wheel chair in the department store because I didn't want to over do it :).  I have blisters on my thumbs from zipping around from goodie to goodie, I have a list of things I'll be going back for shortly.  My husband insists that I was wheeling wrong.  I love him.  I think I am suffering from lack of wheeling, my fingers haven't been toughened up.  I am, however, very skilled at the knee walker.  Very.  I think my next post will be about items you must have in order to make ankle replacement surgery recovery easier.  Stay tuned for that, as much as I thought I was prepared and ready, I learned a lot as I went along.

More about shopping....  I LOVE those electric scooters, but they are dangerous as I could shop all day breezing up and down the aisles without a care in the world.  My check book suffers greatly!  The other day I met a guy in an aircast like mine, and he told me he was going to have his ankle frozen.  He was so young and vibrant, and I asked him if he had asked his doctor about Total Ankle Replacement.  He said "No, and if my doctor says to freeze it then I'll freeze it."  I wish he had known more.

Since I have not met with my doctor, I can only report on the findings of  Nick, my physical therapist, who surpisingly, I adore. As of Monday, he reports a significant increase in my ROM, however he would not measure me.  :(  He added strenghtening exercises to my regimen, and oh....  they feel good.  My ankle literally shakes like a leaf when doing them.  The mucles I am using have not been used in years.  Wonderful to use them again.  My next PT appointment is on Friday, I hope to get measured. Even though degrees are tiny, any improvement is inspiring. Trust me.

The nasty rash that I had has finally cleared up so now my incision can have a chance to heal.  I get very itchy anyway, from wearing my boot.  I am happiest when I take that thing off.  Many people still sleep with it at this point, I feel too much pressure and pain from it, so I'm happy to sleep without it.  My cat bites my ankle sometimes, because I move my foot around in my sleep. I really REALLY don't like the way that feels....grrrrr.   Important to have my crutches around, as I am not ready to walk without my brace.  I'm supposed to try over the next couple of weeks...  I'm not ready, but I will.  I'll let you know how that goes.

We are having a 95 degree day here in St. Louis, and there is sweat pouring down my face as I type.  Our central air is not working properly.  Must be fixed immediately.  As I sit here and sweat I want to give a shout out to my friend Kay, the TAR Lady.  My thoughts are always with her, she and I are recovering together.  High five Kay, you did it!  I hope you are experiencing the same happiness that I am! 

Speaking of shout outs, I want to thank every single person that has happened upon this blog.  I started this thing because I wanted to help someone.  I also wanted a diary that I could look back on in the future, regardless of my lack of writing skills.  When I was in crazy pain, I was like a fish out of water trying to find a solution.  I googled and yahoo'd and everything else, for information.  I'm certain that many of you out there are doing the same thing.  If my story can help you make your decision, well, then this has all been worthwhile.  You are not alone, never forget that.

Thank you to my page viewers from USA, Canada, Australia, Singapore, South Africa, Gemany, India, Sweden, United Kingdom, Denmark, and France.  Thank you to all of my friends and family, I love you all.

Thank you ALL for stopping by....  I wish each and everyone of you a happy and pain free life!

Best Always,

~Suzanne

Oh Happy Day!

Bye bye crutches, I'm walking now.  YES!

Transitioning from two crutches to one crutch to no crutch has gone a lot quicker than I had anticipated.  How wonderful it feels to have two free arms again, it is very liberating!  Within the next couple of weeks my plan is to begin experimenting with walking without my boot.  Nick, my PT, tells me that I can expect an onset of pain and discomfort once I dabble in bootlessness.  Bring it on, I'm certain that it will never even come close to the magnitude of the pain I lived with prior to my ankle replacement. 

Today at PT we could see a significant improvement in my ROM.  Better than my therapist thought we would see at this point in my recovery.  It's good news all around.  I'm getting my life back, I am elated, and my emotions are running wild.  Oh happy day!

I have only one concern at this stage, and it is my big toe and extensor tendon.  My big toe locks up and sometimes I can't bend it at all.  The extensor tendon is extremely sensitive, even to touch.  Nick worked his magic today and demonstrated how I should exercize the joints in my toe, and after that, I had immediate relief.  So I'll being doing some big toe work outs at home.  When Nick explained why my toe isn't working, it made total and complete sense.  For years I have walking with my foot straight out to the side, because that's the only way I could move about.  When you walk like that, you are not using your toes.  Well, if your not using your toes for years and then you have major work done and have tendons and ligaments moved around, then you're thrown into a cast for weeks and weeks....if I were a toe, I'd throw in the towel too.  It's not rocket science.

Today I laid down my crutch so Nick could see how I was walking on my own.  He immediately said that he has no worries about me, and to just keep my crutch around in case I start getting sore.  We rearranged my schedule to two days of PT visits instead of three, because of my progress.   I need to keep my foot straight!  After so many years of walking like a sidewinder, it's taking a lot of practice on my part to keep it straight.  Bad habits are hard to break, but I'm always up for a challenge!

When this whole process began, my surgeon and I sat across from each other on more than one occasion and discussed the pros and cons of ankle fusion vs. total ankle replacement.  At first Dr. Johnson asked that I wait until I'm 55 if I opted for replacement surgery.  I opted out of ankle fusion because of the havoc it wreaks on the surrounding joints.  I didn't see the value of relieving my ankle arthritis just to end up with arthritis everywhere alse in my foot.  Fix pain to get pain, didn't make sense.  Thank goodness the FDA finally got around to approving the STAR ankle implant in the U.S., because it turned out to be a better option for someone my age.  I don't expect this implant to last forever, most of them don't.  I will at the very least need a revision down the road, and that's  totally fine with me.  Even if I have to have the whole thing redone, I'm okay with that too.  If I can buy myself ten good years of pain free living, well, what more can I ask for?  Having my ankle replaced is turning out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. 

Still wondering if the hammer is going to drop...  because right now I feel like the poster child for total ankle replacement surgery.  The high priestess of pain free recovery. Seems to be too good to be true, and I can't help but be worried about that. But I'll motor on, and see where this takes me, and will remain as positive as I can. 

Best,
~Suzanne

An Innocent Stroll

Oops, I walked!

Last night my dad and I had just finished playing a couple hands of Spite and Mallice, one of our favorite card games.  After winning both games my father victoriously headed upstairs to bed. I plopped down onto my comfy oversized chair and turned on the tube (I'm dating myself with the word tube...) and I saw the headlines. "Osama bin Laden is dead!".  I excitedly hopped out of my chair and headed straight for the stairs as I wanted to go up and give my father the news.  It wasn't until I reached the stairs and placed my hand on the bannister that I realized that I had left my crutches behind.  I had walked!  Granted, it was only eight or nine steps, but I had walked nevertheless.  Feeling exhilarated, I walked back to where I had been relaxing to retrieve my crutches, so I could crutch up the stairs.  I went against doctor's orders, however it was purely innocent and without guilt.  Breaking the rules never felt so good!  Osama dies, then I walk for the first time in seven weeks. I walk for the first time in years, without pain. There must be a connection here.... I like to think that it signifies new beginnings.  New beginnings for us all.  Cheers everyone!

I went to see Nick, my physical therapist, today.  This was my second appointment, and already there is improvement in my ROM. Yipppeeee!  My dorsiflexion went from 2 degrees to 10, my plantar flexion went from 20 to 25!  In my physical therapy 101 post I said that my plantar was 6 degrees.  I was wrong, but in a good way.  It was actually 20.  Degrees are tiny measures, and that's fine. I'm happy to reclaim my life in tiny steps.  Today we worked on strecthing and again it felt soooo good.  I do stretch at home, but there's a lot to be said for having someone do it for you, just feels better.  We worked on getting my toes back to working order, they're stiff and I can barely bend my big toe. I do feel discomfort in my extensor tendon, the giant one extending from the big toe.  With my toe stretching exercises I expect to see and feel an improvement shortly.  Nick said that when we meet again on Wednesday we are going to start some strengthening exercises.  I asked him if that is when I will start hating him and he said "not yet, that'll come later."  :)

All in all it's been a fabulous couple of days.  I put a call in to my doctor to inquire about the possibility of starting to use one crutch instead of two.  It's not that I'm trying to rush things, even though I am impatient, and you already know that....I really feel ready to take the next step in my recovery.  Ready to move things along, get the wheel turning, you know what I mean. 

Here's to pain free living everyone, sending my best wishes to you all!

Have a beautiful day, and thanks for reading.

~Suzanne
Update:  I've transitioned to one crutch, feels great, things are moving right along.